Hey have u ever seen any guy who would blatantly wear something that is soo demeaning on him? Hur. I saw one guy who did today. Haha. Thought that only those "Little Miss---" shirts existed hur? So did I, until I saw that shirt! Ha. Lols. Gdness! At first when I saw him, he looked like some guy just fresh out of NS. Ya, he had the buff bod, the botak hairdo and the familiar tanned all over look with that particular shade of tan that I could recognise anywhere. So it was like "Hey, this guy ain't too bad!" But, that was until I saw the shirt. Has. Lols. Mr Masturbate! Gdness. You sound like you hadn't had it for days, no correction years that kind of thing and you wanna tell everone that you love masturbating! Errr hur. Yea u get what I mean. Hahas. It was hilarious! I rather he had worn a shirt that goes" I'm retarded" and have ppl laugh at him for being stupid than he go wear that shirt and ppl laugh at him for his poor mentality. Ha. Btw, his shirt had a pic of a cartoon man with a towel wrapped ard him and had the kind of "Oooo" expression. Haha. Oh well haha.

Labels: muses

Emotional turmoil.

Went there today. Was very fun, really enjoyed myself thoroughly with some company of my 2 friends and 1 new friend. Hmm. really had fun, dunno. Has. This is the second time I had ever chatted with more than 2 guys alone. Has. Really , cos the situation I'm in always never gave me a chance to do this cos I'm always hanging out with girls. Hint: form a girls' sec. sch --> now, still in an environment where the girls outnumber the guys. Oh well. But I think tt things went well for me. Considering tt I wasn't really nervous or anything. Hmm. But, I did fidget a lot I guess. Has. It was only when it dawned on me tt I was chatting to like 3 guys alone, by myself. Hahas. Ya, I know tt it may not sound like anything to most ppl. But, to me, it's a really great achievement. Yea. Last yr, this period of time, I wld have been much more shy and nervous I guess. hehe. But this tme round, I went fine, was able to communicate with them etc. :P so Yayy!
When I was sec. 4, I wld morely get even more nervous and coy. Has. Even more so when I'm in sec. 3 and the list goes on. Hmm. Haha. But I've to say tt I've moved on and learnt a lot more on how to deal/ communicate with guys. Be them hot guys , friends or guys who simply traumatise me. Yep, I've had a really bad experience with a digusting idiot once. Gross. Has. Anws I've learnt a lot.

From the time I participated in NDP in 2005 =)) and got to mix with the hot Saf guys, Flirts, some digusting CD ppl and hmm my contigent mates I've really gained a lot insight. I've really learnt a lot. My experience may not be much, but, I've learnt a lot for now. Has. Even a Saf guy said I was "Xing gan". Has. Wow. That was in 2005 la. :-P Never knew tt my style of walking can be sexy. Hmm. Well.

I guess I better tell you what happened or rather how i found out. It was 8th of August 2005, after doing the marching in, all the contigents were rushing on our way home. This included everyone, Saf, CD, and all the fellow UG groups (uniformed grps). So everone was leaving at the same time but we had many different routes and "had to queue too". My Rc contigent was leaving and the Saf contigent was walkng in front if I rmb correctly. We were trying to overtake them I think. So what happened was, my contigent mates were cutting through the Saf contigent in a single file and I was following them very closely behind. I was afraid tt I wld lose them while cutting thru and didn't look back la. But in the end, I still lost them la. Has. So I was walking in the Saf contigent for quite a while before I suddenly heard someone behind me exclaimed " hen xing gan orh". Ha. I was shocked! Immediately, I turned ard and to my utter surprise, only the Saf guys were walking behind me. 2 were walking directly behind me la. Gosh. So tt Saf guy was telling his friend. And i thought that the rest of the my contigent were behind me la! Ha. Gosh.

Then, I was like" shit!" and quickly zigged-zagged and maneuvered my way out of their contigent! Ha. Funny. So I was actually walking in their contigent alone! Hur. Wow. Well. Ha. I'm just glad to have tt sort of experience. :P What can I say I'm just a girl surrounded by a bunch of hot guys, as long as they don't do anything to me, I'll be friggin happy! =p I dun care baby. Has. Well, I've learnt a lot, gained new knowledge. But, I still have a lot to learn. Hmm. But Whee~ at least I know tt I'm learning something new everyday! Has.

I really enjoyed the open hse today at Ngee Ann. Cool. Met great ppl n had Great fun. N I even had a chance to try out the Archery too! Hehs. Oh well, I've got to sleep now. Tseusts!

Lfe is full of ups and downs. Surprises happen all the time. Sometimes they can make you feel happy, while other times they can make you feel sad. Pardon me for my simple english, I haven't been reading much. This time, a particular "surprise" made me feel sad once more. I detest being down, I always had. But, sometimes, I don't know why, I indulge in it. A form of self-pity perhaps? I don't know. And I hope not. I find myself sometimes crying for no particular reason. Sad with times I don't really know why. Hmm. I think it's the cumulative build up of stress. I'm really not too sure, but I think that's the reason.

The first time that I've cried myself to sleep was at the tender age of 9. I was in primary 3. It as a few a simple reasons that i had cried over..I suppose. I can still remember why. I don't want to go into details here, but it was because of some problems dealing with my brother.. At first I tried to solve the problems myself, since it was manageable. But later, my bro wld just create them again, every night. I had by then gotten tired of dealing with it. So I had sorted the help of my parents about it but after many numerous attempts, it didn't work out. And I was left to deal with it again and again and again and again and again by myself too many a time. I couldn't take it, and that was not the only case. My Dad was bias towards my bro, he always had and is still so now. I hadn't realised it then, but that played a part in my distress. There were many instances that were linked to his biasness. Many many. I think that my parents did not discipline my bro enough.

I used to pinch my bro when we were younger, in kindergarden. I pinched him a lot, sometimes even piercing through the skin. Or perhaps, half the time. But, that was because I believed that I was diciplining him. He was a very, very naughty kid. Selfish and can be very overbearing at times. At that time, he still listened to me because he was (hahas) scared of me. But after i was told to stop pinching him, he became even naughtier. He became defiant and was not afraid of me. Sighs. I was a very obediant girl and i always do what I'm told, what to do. If only I weren't that obediant, things wld probably been much better..

When I was that young in primary sch, perhaps it was because I didn't know how to get the help I needed from my parents. Didn't know how how to explain to them the problem...Or was it that they had thought that my problems were small, insignificant, not a real problem to worry about. Or did they think that I was simply being petty? I've got no idea. But, one thing that I am very clear of at that time was the fact the they did not discipline my brother well enough. In fact, I was the one that was pointing out all his mistakes. And I mean the obvious mistakes too and not just the small ones.. My Mum has to be given some credit for discipling my bro though. She had really tried. I know. But it wasn't enough. I don't think that she can really be blamed for it though. I know. I know. My dad's biasness towards my bro also had a part to play in this. I know...My Dad? Well, I suppose he justs turns a blind eye every time my bro's done something wrong, or is it that he really really didn't know??? I don't think so. He always tells me to "give in " to my bro, "give in" to my bro. Can't stand it. He says "the elder must always give in to the younger". Yah right, if that really happened in real life. Our kids wld have no future cos then there wld be (almost) nobody discipling him. We can't just give in to our younger junios ALL the time, it's not right. So even when he's in the wrong, we just say "it's ok, nvm" ?? Hmm.. he nevers tell my bro to give in to me Until I pointed out to him that it was so, many times.

Hmmm.. What can I do when I'm stuck(pardon me for saying this) with a family like this??... Hmmm....................................................................................................................................................
...............But.......................................So far, I suppose that improvements can still be made.......
.... Little by little..............................And for my Dad..... Hahas....It wld probably take forever to
change his mindset......

yayys open hse was fun!
Went around "kajiaoing" ppl. Made new friends from MB. =) Hehs. Tired. But, want to type smtg here. Kays. I've got loads of Hw to do. Stupid Ma1war3 thing tt my bro clicked to 'download' stupid. It claims to store personal info n all tt. stupid. ok. dumb ppl who creates these sort of things. Damn them! Damn,damn,damn damn themselves to the core!! (ps typo in the word i'm speaking about is deliberate again).

ok. Don't feel like typing much today. Except tt it WAS REALLY FUN to bluff those ppl tt we were O lvl grads just fresh out of sec sch. Hahas. Funny la. Even 1 of the guys recognized
me from thurs/friday?? No idea because I went for all the 3 days of the open hse! hehheh.

Met my primary sch friend today. Yayys Yay. Chatted n caught up with her n realised tt they ( her family) had thought tt i was in VJ. Hahs. Wow. hurhur. gd hur. but anws, I was really glad to see her again. Haven't seen her or any of my other primary sch friends in ages.

Well, u see, there's a certain kind of special feeling u get when u're with ur old buddies la. I don't really know how to describe it yet.. Cos right now, my mind's too tired. But i could try. It's a certain sense of familiarity I get when I'm with them. Puts me at ease n that well, knowing that we all came from the same place, well, gives us a same base to work on?? okay, I'll come back n rephrase this another time. I love(/ hearts) the open hse. Yeah. And erm btw this the first time I've ever called a guy cute in his face. Hehheh. But it was in a jokingly form. Hehs. Oh well, yea! I'm progressing well, mixing very well with loads of other ppl tt I nvr wld really had mixed with when i was in sec 3 and in my lower sec. Why? Because I was from a girls school.

Yup, i know that i should be sleeping by now but still, i wanna make a quick post. Shall set myself 10 mins. (I normally take 45 mins k.) 12.53am and i need to leave the hse by 7 am. Hence, i need to get up by 6.20 a.m. great. Oh wells. Here goes. Hees. Well, i didn't know that it's really such a small world out there. I went to the Australian universities "open hse" today at Orchard hotel. I was supposed to have gone yesterday but due to certain circumstances, I couldn't. It's not because of school btw. Hmm. I actually met Ashiqin senior today! Wow! Totally didn't expect to see anyone i know at all! Well, so my mum and i had a rough tour of the unis. that were well right now i can't find the best words to describe, but all of them looked like they were holding a mass consultation session for the public! Hees that's it. The right phrase. =) Hmm, interestingly or rather not very surprisingly Monash Uni. had the longest queue of students. And it's followed by a certain uni that didn't get too good a publicity last year after having to leave S'pore just after a few mths? due to a lack of funds? Okay , I'm not too sure why, however, they seem a lil' unstable to me. Hence, I felt that it's rather surprising in the case cos they had the second longest queue of students. It's 1.05 a.m.

Hahs. Now, the funny part. Get this, in a day that i went to Orchard hotel, i actually saw more cute or hot guys than i had ever seen in an entire semester in Nyp. Hmm.. Hahs. Interesting. Well hahs i really saw 1 very cute n gd-looking guy today! Yayys! Eyecandy refill! Hahs looks like i need to go out more to see eyecandy lols... My sch? sad.. Nvm.. Shall go elsewhere.. Hehhehs. K i got to go now. Gdnight n sweet dreams! *Muaks* i spent 20 mins. It's 1.13 a.m. now.

1st January!!
Yayys!!
I wanna keep this short and sweet. This wil be my first post for 2008!! Hahas. I sound ecstatic.
Okie. Happy happy New Year gal! I look forward to a New Year!. ok. Yayys! Have a Gggrrreeeeaaaaattt year everyone!!!

First, goals.
1. Aims to achieve GPA of 3.65 and above^^. I wanna reach a 4! Tt will mean distinctions. So in order to achieve tt, i'll will study for at least an hour everyday.
2. Exercise more. 3. and lose 5 kg. I'll go walk-a-jogging at least once a wk. And /exercise at home.
4. Grow taller 5. by sleeping earlier. I'll do my best to sleep by 12 midnight everyday on average.
6. Read more. I'll do my best to read 10 books a year! and watch less non-productive television programmes.

Kays. Happy hols everyone! It's still a public holiday! Yayy. :D